


Mr Toad Comes To Breakfast

by Sharpiefan



Series: Master John's Practical Pranks [2]
Category: Show the Colours (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3968710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharpiefan/pseuds/Sharpiefan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"But it was fun. Like the toad that found its way onto the breakfast table when Father was in Town, once. Mother nearly screamed the house down."</i>  The Devil finds work for idle hands... especially when those hands belong to small, mischievous boys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr Toad Comes To Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't actually planned on writing out this episode, but it just popped into my head and demanded to be written, rather than staying as a tale barely mentioned by a much more staid and dull Rifles officer. (He was seven when this incident happened.)

  
**Title:** Mr Toad Comes To Breakfast  
**Fandom/Canon:** Show the Colours  
**Author:** [](http://sharpiefan.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://sharpiefan.dreamwidth.org/)**sharpiefan**  
**Word count:** 625  
**Rating:** G  
**Spoilers:** None  
**Pairing/Characters:** John Vickery  
**Disclaimer:**  
**Author's Note:** I hadn't actually planned on writing out this episode, but it just popped into my head and demanded to be written, rather than staying as a tale barely mentioned by a much more staid and dull Rifles officer. (He was seven when this incident happened.)  
**Summary:** _"But it was fun. Like the toad that found its way onto the breakfast table when Father was in Town, once. Mother nearly screamed the house down."_ The Devil finds work for idle hands... especially when those hands belong to small, mischievous boys.

  
John couldn't believe it when he saw the toad in the shrubbery. It was the biggest, fattest, brownest, wartiest toad ever, with short fat legs, big yellow eyes – and a tongue that flicked out so fast to catch a fly that he barely saw it move.

He glanced around for Nurse, but she was talking to one of the maids, and was paying absolutely no attention to him. He carefully moved forward and squatted down to have a better look at the creature, careless of the dirt of the flowerbed that was probably going to get him into trouble later when Nurse saw the state of his breeches and stockings.

The toad just watched him, blinking very slowly once or twice.

He glanced towards the house. The breakfast table was laid but his mother wasn't expected down to breakfast just yet. The French doors were open to allow the gentle summer breeze into the room... and provide a perfect entrance for John, too.

The thought had barely occurred to him before he was reaching for the toad, careful not to startle it, though really it was so fat that if it hopped away it would only be very slowly. He carefully picked it up in his cupped hands – it really was big! - and slipped quietly towards the house, cradling it carefully against his chest, keeping his back to Nurse so that she couldn't see what he was doing. Not that she cared – she was too busy talking to notice him.

It was the work of a moment to enter the breakfast room, where he leaned across the crisp white cloth spread on the table, careful not to disturb the crockery laid out, though he had to nudge the plate of rolls a little to make a space for his prize.

It sat there on the table, looking very brown and warty, and blinked once at him, very slowly. He grinned and slipped back out as he heard footsteps outside the door. He just made it back outside before the door opened.

There was a pause.

And then the loudest shriek he had ever heard, _ever_. Repeated. And repeated again when his mother had drawn enough breath.

Nurse stopped her boring conversation. Inside the breakfast room, the door to the hallway flew open – he could hear the bang it made even from out here – and then there were raised voices. And then James came out, a look of amusement vying with distaste on his face. Cupped in his white-gloved hands was John's toad, still as fat and placid as ever.

John glanced at the breakfast room and crossed to the footman, trying to look unconcerned. "What've you got there?" he said.

"A toad. Her Ladyship wants it as far away from the house as possible," the footman said, looking down.

"I'll do it," John offered, trying not to think where the footman was going to put it. "Honest. Mama won't know it wasn't you."

The footman looked reluctant, but distaste for the fat creature won out in the end; he was going to change his gloves the very first second he could.

John reached for the creature which just stared unblinkingly at him, and took it back into his cupped hands. Its skin was cold and so bumpy!

The footman turned to head back into the house, and John carefully put the toad back on its stone. "Thank you," he said with a small bow, before turning to distance himself from the scene of his crime before someone decided to find out where he was and whether he could have had anything to do with the morning's upset. At least James wouldn't split on him.


End file.
